And yet I shrugged off my feelings and ignored my discomfort so that I could be a supportive daughter. Out of loyalty to my father, I would never have shared my instinctive doubts about his lifestyle, but I distinctly remember being unsettled by it. This is why Pride parades, drag queen story hour, and teaching gender as a social construct are so insidious.

In fact, that child may build his or her worldview on that foundation. When someone in authority, especially someone who is trusted, tells a child something is true, that child will believe them. I even attended the gay Olympics to cheer on a family member. I learned my way around the neighborhood, knowing which were the gay bars and which were the lesbian bars. It was a colorful place, and I quickly found that I had to be careful where I looked, lest I would see more than I bargained for. On the weekends when I visited, Dad and I would head to Castro Street in San Francisco. It was very uncomfortable to visit, but I tried not to let it bother me. A calendar of mostly nude men appeared in the bathroom, along with some revealing art. Before long, both my dad’s apartment and our visits began to change.

Although my parents had raised me with a Christian worldview and I knew the Bible well, my world began to shift radically after my father explained why he was sleeping with men.